Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was a horrible, horrible day. I always try to be positive on here and keep things light, but I also feel like I have connected with a lot of you guys and want to always be honest and share about my real life. Here are some beautiful pics before reading about my bad day.

Wish I was here...

here...

or here...

enjoying this :)


Disclaimer: This is not the happiest post. I had an extremely hard day today. I would truly appreciate it if you would read below and give me your best advice. I try to keep all posts sunny and beautiful, but sometimes the real world sneaks in. I already feel a little better after my ramblings! Thank you!

As I have said before, I LOVE my job. We have 2 locations here in Nashville, I was hired to work at one and help out at the other one from time to time. My permanent location is WE and the one I sometimes work at is DT. I love everything about WE. We are truly a family there. It is of course a dysfunctional one and we fight like all families from time to time, but it is home. We all support each other and work as a team, and most importantly we all respect one another. It is not a perfect world, nowhere is, but it is one of the best environments I have ever been fortunate enough to work in.

On the contrary, DT is the opposite. I have some very good friends down there that I adore, 2 of which are managers and do a great job, but I honestly don't know how they stand being there. No one respects one another at all. They all fight constantly and talking down to people is a common theme. Everyone is out for themselves and everything really is a constant battle. I have never let this truly bother me before and really always kept out of things and just tried to help and do a good job and knew it was never permanent, I was hired for WE plain and simple, and didn't have to worry about ever being permanently stuck down there. I would make little comments sometimes to my manager, whom I really really like and does a great job, like "Oh no not DT again!" but I always worked my shifts there with a smile on my face.

That all changed today. I am going to keep this as short as possible. The first shift girl (L) I worked with talked down to me from the minute that I arrived. She is super unorganized and likes to think of herself as a freakin manager. She is bossy and likes to leave notes about what everyone does wrong, when she makes more mistakes than anyone. Anywho, she was trying to tell me what to do (I am perfectly capable and have plenty of experience), how to do it, and kept acting like I was doing things wrong. She was basically berating me. I took a deep breath and just kept pushing my feelings down and ignoring her like I always do, but felt anger inside of me like I haven't felt in quite a while. This goes on for about 2 and a half hours. At the end, she goes to count the drawer, of course counts it wrong like always, and starts accusing me of taking money out of the drawer. WTF. I hadn't even touched the drawer since I arrived and I don't steal. After accusing me several times and treating me like a thief she finally counted it correctly on the 5th try. I still kept my mouth shut but was boiling and hurt inside.

I then took a phone call from a guest who had a reservation arriving with us in a few months. He wanted to ask me about restaurants in the area, no big deal. I will preface this by saying that guests are my #1 priority NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care what has happened that day, how busy I am, or what is going on they come first. So, I let him know that there were about 50 restaurants within walking distance of the hotel and all different varieties. I went on to say that I was busy at the moment and couldn't help him with the specifics, but if he would give me his number-and he interrupted me. He said that wouldn't be necessary that he was just calling to see if he needed to rent a car, but if there were that many things within walking distnace I had already answered his question. I went on to say that when he arrived at the hotel we could recommend places and tell him all about the area, asked him if he needed anything else, and hung up. At that point the GM walks out of his office and says to me in a very condescending tone "Did I just hear you tell a guest you were to busy to help them?" (Keep in mind the situation with L had just happened before that phone call so I was not in a good place.) I looked at him and started to say "No thats not what happened" but I stopped.  He wouldn't have listened to my explanation, nor did he really want to hear it. He asked me this right in front of one of the hotel OWNERS.

He knows damn well that I am really good with guests, etc. He heard the back end of conversation and assumed that I had declined to help the guest. Didn't think about my past behavior or even ask for a reservation. The man never comes out of his office nor offers a hand ever, but he chose that moment to walk out and say that to embarass me in front of one of two owners of the hotel. I was mortified. I did something I rarely do. I had fire blazing inside of me. I picked up my purse to go smoke, barely choked out the words, said "I'm sorry. I am extremely aggravated." With him and L.

I went outside and just bawled and lost it. I called my manager at the other hotel, explained what had happened and I was sobbing like a mad woman. I told her that I never ever wanted to work down there again and that I couldn't handle that place any longer. It is such a toxic environment and I know it is much job and I am lucky to have one, but I don't deserve to be talked to like a dog, especially not by a co-worker and a manager when I didn't do anything wrong. I have been getting by down there just thinking that I won't have to go much longer, but I just burst today. I feel so stupid and so childish. I kept crying when I went inside and just couldn't get a hold of myself.

L finally left and I ignored the GM. I actually fixed a huge mistake he made and fixed several of L's but of course that will never be recognized. They always focus on the negative down there and enjoy bringing people down. I also should add we were extremely busy today. I cooled down and finally stopped tearing up after about 2 hours and then got hit with another bombshell (I am so sorry this is so long and I am rambling! I have to get this off my chest).

There is a sales manager (S) who works DT who is not liked by many people. I have always been nice to her, even though a lot of other people dog her, don't like her, and say she is dumb. She has no fans to say the least, but I always give people the benefit of the doubt unless the prove otherwise. I offer her my help all the time and when she was new tried to answer her questions, etc. Anywho, she was complaining all day to me that L had been talking to her horribly. She had been talking down to her too and was just down right rude. I expressed that she had been talking to me the same way, but I was sorry that she was being treated that way.

Fast forward 2 hours, 3 receptions going on, we have a resume sheet at the desk listing where they all are, one was incorrectly marked. This was the only information I had and could refer to. People for 1 were going all the way up to the 4th floor to find no people, no reception. They were getting very annoyed and kept coming back to me because this too was my fault. You know I moved the reception and moved the group just to inconvenience them. I finally figured out where it was, changed the sheet at the desk, and they went on up. I had to endure some nasty comments, but really no big deal, that's just part of it.

After everyone is taken care of S walks downstairs and says "Oh by the way this reception is here...yada yada yada." I showed her the sheet and said I know, see I changed it for you. In an obvious joking tone I said "Gee thanks for telling me now after I have been yelled at by angry people from the group!" Keep in mind. I am ALWAYS nice to this woman and we get along. Normal person would have said oh I know I'm sorry, just a mistake, whatever, and it would be over. This lady points her finger IN MY FACE and says to me "NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME..." I looked away because I really could not believe she was going to go there, especially after the day I had, and she said "Now you look at me when I am talking to you, you look at me right here" and pointed to her eyes. I am sorry to say I lost it again.

And I mean lost it. That was the icing on the cake. She was obviously taking her frustration that she had with the other girl L out on me and I was not going to take it. I looked at her and said a little too loudly, "Oh don't even think you are going to talk to me like that." All I saw was red. I grabbed my purse and walked right out that door. I had heard about her doing stuff like this to other people, but she had never acted like this toward me, ever and I was not about to take it.

I busted into tears again and was so upset I could hardly breathe. I call my manager again (forgot to tell you that in the meantime I had looked at my schedule for next week and was supposed to be DT all week except for 1 day-I know there is no way that I can do that and keep my job. She had made it before all this happened) but I just lost it. 3 people putting me down in one day, berating me, talking to me like a dog, disrespecting me, and treating me like a worthless piece of crap, looking at that schedule, and the combined events of the day, I had a panic attack and breakdown right in Printer's Alley (an alley next to the hotel that is famous with bars, etc.) I was so bad ya'll that a homeless stranger came up and put his arm around me and told me how sorry he was and that everything would be ok and he literally held on to me until I could breathe again.

He wasn't dirty or gross or inappropriate, but like an angel. I felt like God had sent him right down to comfort me in my time of need. That stupid sales manager had also eventually wandered out there looking for me and he kept her away from me too!! I eventually told her to get the hell away from me and leave me alone.

Anyway, I apologized to my manager profusely. I was and still am so embarassed. I have never ever broken down at work, much less 3 times and I felt so so so stupid. She told me to come to WE tomorrow at noon and we will talk about it with my GM there (who is new, which makes me kind of nervous) but hopefully we can work something out so I don't have to go DT anymore. If things have been building up inside of me and I got this upset, something has to give. The environment is so negative and hostile that I mentally can't be there, it is unhealthy for me in so many ways, does that make sense??? If that was were I was hired (not at the other property) then I would have quit today, but I guess I am really confused now.

If anyone made it this far a big THANK YOU. At least I know my self esteem has built up a little bit, because I stood up for myself and reached out and said I won't be treated like a 2nd rate human being. I always want everyone to like me and I try so hard to do a good job, but my feelings were really hurt today, which is the hardest thing for me to admit.

Please leave me some advice and let me know what you think. I hope I still have a job when I get there tomorrow. It's funny how 2 properties can be so completely different and how important it is to have a strong team.

xoxo,
Sara